Huge Life Changes

My father in law, Charles, came to live with us on Wednesday. He is 83 years old, a diabetic and he can't live by himself. Brian's sister went to court to have him deemed incompetent and she became his conservator or whatever it is called. Charles was not notified that this was happening and now he is angry (which I completely understand). He's not angry at Brian, thank goodness, but his hostility towards the sister is tangible. Charles thinks he can live by himself (after this week we realized that is not possible). He is convinced there is a conspiracy against him so the fighting begins. Please pray for us as we adjust to this period of our lives.

What Is Important To Me?

That was a question that Danessa asked me the other night. We were watching a TV show and some guy was accused of doing something that was described in a book he wrote. The police said they were told he was at a party talking about his book to people. I told Danessa that's not fair because when I'm at a party and I meet people I don't know, I talk about what's important to me. She asked me what was important to me. At first I laughed because I thought she was joking but she wasn't. I said what do you think and she said well I know work isn't important but M&M's are. I said yeah they are but they are like number 4 on the list:)

I told her to look around and tell me what she sees. On my walls are pictures of who is important to me, my family.
Brian and I discussed this later on and I was really upset because I thought I had failed as a mother. Did I not convey to my children how much they mean to me? When I told them, "I love you" did I ever tell them how much they really mean to me?

I don't know, when I see these smiling faces and I think of all the love and kisses I gave I think, "Maybe I wasn't such a bad mother. I was a woman who choose the divine calling of motherhood and I did the very best that I could."

BTW- Danessa felt really bad.

Name Game- Danessa

Danessa Jacklyn Smith born June 29, 1990. I wanted my next baby to have a unusal name because with Brian being in the military, there were zillions of Tina and Brian Smith's and we always had trouble with them screwing up doctors appointments etc... When we got married and moved to Fairchild AFB I worked as a cashier at Arby's. My supervisor was a beautiful woman and her name was Danessa. I decided that if I had a girl, I would name her Danessa. I decided I wanted another baby so of course Brian went along because of the baby making process! It took us about 5 months but we got pregnant again. I mentioned that Keith was very energetic and when I told one of the women at church that I was pregnant she was shocked and asked me if it was planned!!! Needless to say, that didn't sit well with me.
During my pregnancy with Danessa, I couldn't eat sweets. Just the thought of sweets made me sick yet it didn't stop me from gaining 30 lbs!In my 7th month, my blood pressure started to creep up. During my 8th month, the doctor put me on what I referred to as "house arrest". I had to quit work and lay down and pretty much do nothing. You know there was no way I could rest with an active toddler. I had to go to the Air Force hospital and have my blood pressure checked twice a week. At the time, Brian and I didn't know the significance of my condition. We are certain if we had went off base to have her that the doctor would've put me in the hospital and probably taken her early. Instead we dealt with the military and they let me go into labor on my own.

We didn't know the sex of the baby and we agreed on boy names but not girl names. I liked Danessa Jacklyn but Brian wanted Jacklyn Danessa. We decided that we would wait and if it's a girl we would see what she looked like and decide. Which of course meant she would be Danessa Jacklyn because there's no way Brian could deny me after going through labor! We waited until the last minute to go to the hospital with her because we heard about all of the horror stories of what they did to women at the Air Force hospital. When I went into labor, I told Brian to play racquetball because that would be the last he would play for a while. After he came back and we waited around (me in pain, him concerned) we finally went to the hospital at 1pm. We got there, they got me checked in, I was a 5 and in active labor. Once again I had a drug to take the "edge" off of the pain. At 2 they broke my water and the active labor went fast. Before we knew it I was a 10.

Back in the olden days, there were labor rooms and seperate delivery rooms. I was in the labor room and I became a 10 and I let out this huge moan. I tried to grab Brian's hand but couldn't find it so I grabbed what I preceived to be the bed rail. It was actually the IV pole attached to the bed and I grabbed it so hard that I bent the pole. Brian said when I was bending the pole the nurses looked at him like, "You take care of her". He was looking back and saying, "No way!". They rushed me down the hall to the delivery room and I told them I needed to stop for a bathroom break. They said no and for me to just go ahead and go. Well I did and guess what? It was actually a baby that I was squeezing out! When the midwife saw the baby she yelled at me to stop pushing, I said I'm not, she said yes you are. We get to the delivery room and Danessa pretty much just popped out!!! The birth was so fast that I was left really shaky.
I was scared after she was born because she didn't make any noise. The midwife smacked her little bottom to get her to make a little squeeky noise. We weren't use to that because when I was giving birth to Keith only his head was out and he was already crying! Danessa has been such a blessing to our family. My mom spoiled her when she was alive because she was and still is the only granddaughter. She has always had a sweet personality and she really adds a lot to our home.

Danessa leaves in September to head to the University of Cincinnati to pursue a career in Mechnical Engineering. I'm excited because she's the first person in our family to go to college right from high school. I'm also excited because it's not that far away and she can come home whenever she wants. When my baby leaves, Brian and I will be officially empty nesters. Where did the years go?

Name Game- Keith

I have been working for weeks trying to get the pictures to show up right and I had pretty much given up. I think I finally got it to work! I'm really glad Kelly tagged me because it has been nice thinking about the anticipation during each pregnancy and the awe and wonder after the birth of each of my children. They were born with such distinct personalities from the beginning. I am blessed that they chose me to be their mother.



Brian Keith Smith Jr., born March 2, 1988. He's named after Brian but we refer to him by his middle name. When Brian and I got married, my goal was to have maybe one child after we were married about 6 years. One of my friends told me that I would be pregnant before my 1 year anniversary. I said no way. Well, we were married in July of '86 and joined the church in Feb '87 and decided to have a baby in May and yes, we were pregnant by our first anniversary! When I was pregnant with Keith, I had a feeling he was a boy (this was back in the days before ultrasounds to tell you the sex). I was so sure that we never came up with a girl's name. My brother was named after my father and I thought it would be an honor to have Keith named after his father. At first Brian resisted but I wore him down. Since my due date was March, I purchased a blue and white snow suit along with a Mickey Mouse sweat suit to bring him home in. I worked at an insurance office while I was pregnant and I went to the doctor office for my Monday morning weekly appointment. The midwife examined me and told me I would have a baby within 24 hours. We were so excited. I went to work and cleaned out my desk and told everyone. All the ladies were so excited for me.
I went back to our house and cleaned up in preparation of him arriving. I didn't start having contractions until later Monday night. I thought I was having bad contractions and that baby was coming so we rushed to the hospital around 12:30am. The midwife examined me and told me I was a 2 (yes 2) but I was fully effaced. I was thinking, "It gets worse?" Sure did! I was afraid of having an epidural so I chose to have medication to take the "edge" off of the pain. After having my water broke at a 5 I went into real labor and I had him at 8:55am. The midwife was right, I had a baby within 24 hours!

I still remember the awe I felt when he was born and they laid him on my stomache. I couldn't believe that I had a part in creating this precious human being. He seemed so tiny and innocent. I never baby sat as a teenager and the nurses had to show me and Brian how to bathe him, diaper him and wrap him in a blanket. My blood pressure was high during and after the birth of Keith so I was kept in the hospital for a couple of days. No one told the nurses I wanted to breastfeed him so they gave him a bottle. I didn't know any better and by the time they figured it out, Keith had already decided he liked the bottle and didn't want anything to do with working for his food. This was the first sign of our strong willed little boy!
Keith has always had a beautiful smile. Even as a bay he could be crying (which he did alot of) and if something caught his attention, he would smile. He's always taken wonderful pictures and was and still is energetic. As a matter of fact, he actually starting running before he walked!!! Keith was a typical boy who loved anything rough and he especially loved playing sports. He is blessed because every sport he ever played, he excelled at.

Keith's teenage years were difficult for him. Because of that pesky free agency Heavenly Father has allowed us, he made quite a few bad choices. We are so proud that he decided to join the Army to protect our freedom and liberty. He is 20 years old and serving his country in Iraq. We are blessed that we have wonderful friends who pray daily for his safe return home. Thank you for letting me tell you a little about my wonderful young man!

Blessings

1. Was able to wake up this morning, talk to Danessa and kiss both her and Brian goodbye.

2. Was able to pray to Heavenly Father to guide me today.

3. Had a vehicle with gas that was able to take me to work. Able to arrive without being in an accident.

4. Have a job that helps to pay our bills.

5. Have a great friend (Kelly) whose blogs help make me smile.

6. Able to have a healthy body to do the spin class at the YMCA that I enjoy.

7. Have a son in Iraq who has been kept safe. Have people who send him stuff and pray for him daily.

8. Have a daughter who is a wonderful young lady with a good head on her shoulders. One who works hard, plans to attend college and I feel will go as far as she wants in life.

9. Was able to talk to my brother who finally has a phone. I haven't talked to him in over a year.

10. Had the blessing of meeting my husband, getting married, traveling to Washington State and joining the gospel.

11. Have the blessings of being sealed in the temple for all time and eternity to my husband, my children and future generations.

12. Have wonderful friends and acquaintances who have taught me to be a better person than I could ever imagine and who've supported me throughout all the good and the not so good over the years.

13. Have a place that we finally consider home where we plan to stay.

14. Have a wonderful husband who asks me how I can be more beautiful now than when we got married!!

15. I am a daughter of God, who loves and cherishes me.



These are just a few of the blessings I felt I needed to say to remind myself how much I've been truly blessed by the gospel.

Oh The Drama

Before I begin, I need to tell you I am happy that Danessa is okay. This is tech week for the musical CCHS is putting on and Danessa is working deadly hours. She leaves the house every morning at 6:40 for her 7am class and she doesn't get home until after 11pm! I admire someone who can devote so much time to something (other than eating). She came home Tuesday and woke us up and said she hurt her arm. Well, being the good (sleepy) parents we are, Brian said you should ice it and let us know how it feels in the morning. Did I mention Brian said this? Of course I had fallen back to sleep by then! Danessa wakes up Wednesday morning in a lot of pain. We think her arm or wrist may be broken. Brian had to work so here's where the drama begins.


Danessa insists she has to go to school because she can't miss physics and euro. I told her I would call her an out of building for 8:45 and for her to meet me at the urgent care at 9. BTW, we had to switch cars because hers is a stick shift and she couldn't move her arm. Anyway, I arrive first and lo and behold, it doesn't open until 10. (What was that about urgent?) So I call our peditrician and asked if there is an urgent care they can recommend. They so graciously offer to just send us to Children's Hospital Radiology and they'll fax a script to have the Xrays taken. I said cool.

We call Brian to ask how to get to Children's, see I'm lucky that my kids have never really been sick. Well, for those of you who know downtown Columbus you'll understand when I say we missed the exit because there were no hospital signs and we tried to turn around at the next exit and got thoroughly lost. We finally asked a kind lady at a bus stop how to get to the hospital and we weren't that far away. Anyway, we go in and the Dr. office hasn't faxed in the script. So the nice receptionist (BTW, her name is Tina) called and spoke to someone who was rude but she faxed it. They call us back for the xray (I don't know how people butcher my baby's name. The xray tech called her Danesha, do you see an "H" in her name?) Anyway, we get it done and they told us the results would be ready for the Dr. to view in an hour.

Next, Danessa goes home and I go to work. The xrays should be ready at 11:30. I called the Dr. at 11:50 and 2:30 and was told it wasn't ready yet. I call at 4:35 and get the after hours answering service. I tell them I gave my office number for them to call but since I'm going home, they will need to call my home number. I get home, no call. I washed my hair with the phone beside the sink, I went to the bathroom with the phone, I even stayed up until 9:30 waiting for them to call and NO CALL.

Today, I am mad... I call at 9 and the receptionist was a different person and she was great. She handled the situation like a pro and I was able to tell her my frustrations without getting out of hand. She apologized and said someone would call me back within an 1/2 hr. Brian calls me 20 minutes later with the results. No break, just a bad bruise. What if it was broken? What kind of damage could she have done in the amount of time we waited? Anyway, I find out Brian had called them 10 min after I did this morning giving them heck and they called him back 10 min later and apologized for dropping the ball and gave him the results.

Like I said, at least it's not broken and it is doing better today but did I really need all that drama yesterday??????